Waiting~

This is a poem I wrote.  Before someone says, this is not a positive poem, please read to the bottom first, and then decide!  :) 

WAITING

I've gotten pretty good at pretending,
That the pain only goes so far.
I wish that I could tell you,
It only affects my heart.

How simple that would make it ,
But that 's just where it starts.
Down to every cell it seems,
This disease has lit its fire.
Nothing ever quenches it ,
Not even my mind's desire.

I often have no words to pray,
I've given in to shame.
My body's turned against itself,
And God is not to blame.

Is this some mistake in nature?
Or a fluke that soon will pass?
I can only wait and hope ,
As sand slips through the glass.
All the potions the alchemists try ,
Serve only to reveal,
That man offers no relief to me,
For only God can heal.

So held here in this crucible,
I will have to wait.

For my appointment with God's throne,
Healing HERE?  or healing THERE?
Only HE can know.



Here's to the promise of Heaven~ Ruby Jeanette